Funny underused crude knowledge: A vulgar examination of profanity
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By M Parrott
Article ID: 1263
[An editor's note to parents and teachers: This article contains words considered offensive to a large portion of the sixteenth century English-speaking world. Proceed with caution.]
Profanity is an interesting subject, particularly in today’s over-sensitive culture. Some say that profanity is a big problem. They claim it can ruin a child’s upbringing and destroy innocence and purity. You know what I say to these people? “Balderdash! Piffle! Poppycock and poop!”
Profanities are just words. A phonetic collection meant to communicate a recognizable concept. Just like what you read now is no more than a collection of squiggles to create “letters”. These so called “letters” create words. But what are they really? Nothing. Just something made up by humanity by the very first communications major. It’s also a philosophy thing. With the same reasoning, we can deduce that a chair is not a chair, but a series of electrons, protons and neutrons that form something we recognise as a chair. So how is profanity any different? Some linguists theorise vulgar words have harsher sounds. For example the letters “ck” in – well, you know, the really bad one – make the word harsh and abrupt. By this theory we should also be offended by the word “duck”. But this is far from the case! You never overhear anyone saying, “So the guy says, ‘duck her? I hardly know her!’” No, it just doesn’t happen (unless you live in some weird area with an even weirder sense of humour). So the phoenetics idea too is bunkum.
Perhaps a word can be judged by its meaning. This is another theory for why profanities are classed as profanity. Since sexuality is often shameful, words with sexual meanings are classed as profane. That’s utter bosh and most certainly tosh! They’re just synonyms. One terrible word means nothing more than sex. Another one means no more than poop. Yet they’re so offensive! Does this make sense? How can one word’s meaning be so offensive while non-offensive synonyms mean the exact same thing?
Some words change levels of offensiveness over time. “Humbug” is a prime example. Ehrich Weiss (also known as Harry Houdini) used to label so-called “psychics” as “humbugers” because this word was shocking and offensive at the time. It’s very similar in intention to a certain TV show starring Penn and Teller whose name we will abbreviate to “B.S.”. So what has changed since the era of “humbugers”? I’ll tell you: Pipsqueak! Nada! If profanity like “humbug” is so offensive, why does it change in meaning a century later, while the truly offensive words never change? Those seem to be a permanent fixture of the English language, whereas mere profanity changes along with a culture. Have you ever been called a “ninnyhammer”? A “blaggard”? Or (my personal favourite) “wanksplash”? I think not. These are all era-dependant. Take today’s profanity: I give it at most 150 years, after which these terrible words will sound as silly as today’s “humbug”.
Look to the teachings of the great George Carlin. Examine closely his “seven dirty words” (which, perhaps ironically, won’t be quoted on this family-friendly site). Carlin’s list is already changing: would you really classify numbers two and seven as profanity (you know the words: **** and ****)? …Apparently the Digital Bits Skeptic decency filter does, but I don’t, and I think many would agree with me. And Carlin’s list is only thirty-six years old.
Why, if these words were so offensive, are they quickly becoming non-offensive? George Carlin did teach us that these “profanities” are no more than words. But they are useful words – They truly punctuate your point. A quick experiment for you: Say the sentence, “That’s awful.” Now throw in an expletive of your choice. Isn’t that so much better?
Here’s some food for thought: do you honestly really care about such words? Do you truly despise profanity? What is it about an individual word that offends you so much? If you are offended by profanity, I’d argue you have only yourself to blame. The meaning of words is a group consensus, but any ensuing emotional interpretation is your fault. If you think otherwise, that’s just poppycock.
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