Religious misconceptions are in the details
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By M Parrott
Article ID: 134
This article, instead of a long essay, is a series of short blurbs about religious misconceptions. I’ll be honest; I don’t believe any of this. I’m not a religious man. But it is important to know what you don’t believe. Or know what you do believe if you are religious. Or know what others believe that you don’t believe. Because in some way or another, it will affect your life. Believe me.
What was the last name of Jesus?
Not “Christ” as you may have thought. Christ derives from the word Χριστός (Khristós) in Greek. It means “the anointed”. This word was used in place of the word מָשִׁיחַ (Mašíaḥ,) in Hebrew. So Christ means messiah and is a description or title, and not Jesus’ last name. Two thousand years ago, last names did not exist. People were primarily described by their job or home; such as Jesus of Nazareth or Joseph the Carpenter.
What was the fruit eaten by Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden?
You said “an apple”? Wrong! The word “apple” is found nowhere in the Bible. However, what we’ll call “the Eve encounter” does mention “forbidden fruit”. There are a few possible explanations as to why the “forbidden fruit” became an apple. One theory is that Renaissance artists mixed in the Greek mythological story of the Garden of Hesperides. This garden contains an apple tree of immortality – eat the apples and live forever.
Another view of “the Eve encounter” is that it’s an unintentional, centuries-old game of “telephone”. This is where verbal communication is misheard and mistranslated so many times, the original meaning of the message is lost. In this case, the Latin words for “evil” and “apple” are very similar: Malus means apple and malum means evil. On top of that, the first known evidence of the apple fruit is from roughly 300 BCE. For Biblical literalists, the apple may be too young to have been around at the time of Adam and Eve. Some modern theologians theorise that the actual forbidden fruit would have been a banana. I don’t know exactly what Sigmund Freud would have thought about “the Eve encounter” starring a banana. But I have a pretty good guess.
In Buddhism, who created the universe?
It wasn’t Buddha. “Buddha” isn’t even technically a person. It’s a title. It’s the name given to one who has earned perfect enlightenment, or Buddhahood. Buddhism is a pantheistic religion and does not credit anyone with powers of creation. Buddhism does claim there are gods, but does not suggest they have supernatural powers. Instead, they generally have to work in “the real world”: Buddhist gods have the same Earthly limitations and restrictions that regular humans do.
What did Siddhārtha Gautama (commonly known as Buddha) look like?
Was Buddha short and fat? Did he have a big stomach you could rub for luck? Nope. Buddha was a good-looking guy. He was literally tall, dark and handsome. He had blue eyes. And as is befitting a critical religious character, his body was “golden-colored”. Some artwork of Buddha represents him with a big moustache. What’s really interesting – or perhaps really odd – are “The 32 Signs of a Great Man” and its sequel of eighty secondary characteristics. These lists are a set of physical features said to describe what the original Buddha looked like. They include freakishly detailed descriptions like:
“He has taut calf muscles like an antelope.”
“He can touch his knees with the palms of his hands without bending.”
“His sexual organs are concealed in a sheath.” [No, I don't know what that means either.]
“His body hair are blue-black, the color of collyrium, and curls clockwise in rings.”
“He has a large, long tongue.”
“His fingernails and toenails are slightly upturned at the tip.”
“His fingernails and toenails have a rosy tint.”
“His upper and lower lips are equal in size and have a rosy tint.”
“The lines on the palms of his hands have a rosy tint.”
“His tongue is soft and has [everybody say it together now] a rosy-tint.”
How many sheep were on Noah’s Ark?
Not all animals arrived by the legendary “two by two”. There were actually a lot more sheep than other coupled animals. The number is either seven or fourteen. The passage states:
“Of every clean beast thou shall take to thee by the sevens, the male and his female: and of the beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.” (The 1611 King James Bible, Genesis 7:2)
And as you may or may not know, sheep are considered clean animals. However the passage is a bit hard to interpret. Does it mean 7 all together or 7 each of male and female? However in the 1609 Latin-Vulgate translation of the same passage we have this:
“Of all clean beasts, take seven and seven, the male and the female” (Genesis 7:2)
How many children did the Virgin Mary have?
You think it was just one? Just Jesus? Sorry, nope. Strong evidence suggests Mary had at least 6 children: Jesus, four brothers and at least one sister but no name or number is given. Matthew 13:55 states:
“Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother called Mary? And his brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas?”
Which clearly states that Jesus had 4 brothers: James, Joses, Simon and Judas. The following verse (Matthew 13:56) talks about his sisters.
“And his sisters, are they not all with us? Whence then hath this man all these things?”
Further examples of Jesus’ siblings can be found in Matthew 12:46, Luke 8:19, Mark 3:31, John 7:1-10, Acts 1:14 and in Galatians 1:19.
Some claim that these were Jesus’ cousins and not siblings. While the Greek word for brother can also mean other relatives, its literal meaning is a biological brother. This word is used continually. The Greek word for cousin is used at no point during the text.
Another argument is that these children were from a previous marriage of Joseph. However, here we deal with missing information – the Bible never says if Joseph had been married before, or if he had children before his relationship with Mary. Also, if they had been born before Jesus, these children would have been mentioned in the stories about Bethlehem, Egypt and Nazareth. But they’re not. Yes, Mary is described as a virgin. But this was only the case before Jesus’ birth, not after. Jesus may have been an older brother.
Conclusion
Examinations like these are fun, because we get to look at traditional stories and beliefs in close detail. This is important, too: a religion works best for the people when its operations are as transparent as possible. Just like government. Just like an aquarium. Just like life. Taking the time to know the details allows us to better appreciate and understand the big picture.
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